I tried to illuminate for you.Read More
Life has pushed its way into my writing.
I will be posting soon.
sometimes we just need to write and let it collect.
my soul aches for words that mean more. on the search for it all. be back soon.
Follow The Sun.
oh beautiful girl,
why do you allow people to suffocate you?
pull the weeds from your mind,
take the dead flower petals choking your lungs
and breathe in the sun,
breathe in the world around you,
allow yourself to be free,
allow yourself to love,
to be loved.
Allow yourself to be happy.
selfie with a sunflowerRead More
I'm left with petals in my hand
I'm left with my shattered heart in my throat
choking on the pieces everytime I say:
I love you
it cuts my tongue
i bleed for you,
i would suffer for you,
i grabbed the sunrise and
put it in a jar to give you
so every morning you would awake to the warm rays kissing your skin, so even when I'm not there to write sweet love notes upon your skin you could still open to the magic touch of my stardust illuminating your veins,
to remind you the darkness that seeps into your mind, never will swallow you - there is hope even in the darkest of nights,
i will be your North Star,
follow me home.
but instead you scoffed at my soul, and how it burned for you, you didn't like the blue hues that showed in the sky, the warm yellows that hit your irises, the electricity that hit your body with one kiss.
I never was bright enough for you to feel full, every word I spoke, every touch I made was never what you wanted.
you began to look for another stars hues. One full of minutes and seconds, a flower already bloomed, with both hands-on you.
you took my worth and dimmed my eyes
you took my worth and covered me in dirt
taking my name and burying it with weeds, with vulgarity as you smirked at the wound that began to open on my chest,
suffocating any ounce of light I try to emit for you,
you carved out my love with your piercing words from my cavity and swallowed my heart leaving me bleeding out on the floor,
i begging you to 'please just take my hand, take me for who I am, each and every day,'
using your tongue to break my delicate petals
to build yourself up,
as you hold me underneath the muddy water, while you breathe in the summer air,
to feel like the sun to proudly walk around showing others a fake facade of the story you left
as the girl you abandoned from the toxic ways of your mind lays unable to breathe the saltwater sea,
the type of light you give isn't one to help me grow,
you burned the best parts of me
I'm left with petals in my hand,
I'm left with my chest cut open,
I'm left with your love letters and the ink bleeding off the pages,
unable to see the way you believed in us
I keep rewatching you take the parts of me you wanted, leaving the rest
of broken promises and 'i love you always' buried in the truth of
i was never enough for you.
You destroyed me with your anger, the violent way you live
covering your wounds with a poem of 'the truth hurts,' when the only truth is:
you never wanted this light to bring you home.
perhaps I have wanted to live the way of hopes resurrected motionless from joy where a household of you and I felt beloved from the magic in our eyes
forever your body a fingerprint to resist radiant as the sun that captivates the depths of my soul -
a thunderbolt transfigures the enchanting look of his eyes as morning lovers
the passion in between the details revealed her stars intoxicating the misunderstanding void she quietly avoided when speaking to him .....
she looked over quietly and thought "is this love?"
* a sneak peak at a very personal piece *
is his reconciliation with iRead More
we keep adding to our loveRead More
we began to type words as if they were knives
to see who would bleed out first,
who would scream for mercy and put their weapon down,
the messages kept sending, our hearts were shattered
my mind melting into my screen
my fingers bled every letter I began to type,
my soul felt as if it was being sucked into a black hole
becoming brittle and weak, my petals began to fall
attempting to redeem any parts of me that I gave away,
Crying out for it to stop,
My heart was no longer in my chest but in shards caught in my throat -
I tried to send him my sunflower petals surrendering
I tried to tell him 'I love him' one more time..
he told me no longer does he believe the sunflower is the most enchanting he will ever see,
He kept throwing knives,
the sun isn’t as bright as she thinks she is,
there are other stars that can still illuminate his path
you aren’t the best,
or the most beautiful,
you aren’t anything I can’t replace.
I’ll get better,
he plucked my last petal that he re-bloomed
put it in his pocket
and closed the blinds on my sun rays that once lit his soul
I hid my tears
all I dreamed was for him to understand my pain.
to take my weeping face in his hands to let me go so he can heal,
he let go too late,
he let me bleed,
all I want is for him to help me breathe.
He said I was the sun...Read More
Missing Comes In Waves..Read More
Welcome to the poem of the week!
Every Sunday there will be a new poem posted for you to digest, question, love, hate... I hope you find something here that fills you up in a new way.
" I have all the love in the world for you,
but my love won’t save you unless
you decide to save yourself first. "
"My book is meant to be imperfect."
Sitting and reflecting about what I put out in the universe. I'm proud of this. Ask yourself if what you are putting in the universe, is it kind? Do you think of people with feelings? 🌻 ✨🌎
People will not all understand my poetry or my choices, my grammar or my punctuations in this book. But all I can do is put my words out and let people do what they must. I'm not perfect, I'm human. I hope the words make you feel - and that's all I can do.
This is a journal of my thoughts, of insomnia at 2 am, taken from my journal transcribed into a book. It's meant to be imperfect. It's meant to be real. It's meant to help people feel, to heal. It's my art.
One thing I learned publishing my work and posting online - is I had to grow a super tough skin, no matter what I do, someone will be a critic, but I will do what I love regardless - and that is writing, that is poetry, that is putting my heart out for people to use.
Read from a new perspective, dissect, ask questions- interpret, that's what poetry is about.
Hate it, love it, thanks for reading it
A piece of my heart and soul are now in the universe.
A journey, would be an understatement of what it took to create this.
‘Love Letters In The Wall: Agapé Edition’, is in the universe 🌻 5 years in the making. I have been crying, smiling, scared, excited, and nauseous. I started this journey as a wilted sunflower, with no petals. I started this journey as a girl who thought she knew what love was. I was broken. You will be holding my heart in your hands, and nothing gives me more anxiety, feeling so exposed, opening parts of my heart for people to read. But I do it for one reason: I write because there is nothing more beautiful than the human experience connecting with another. I write because it’s my passion, my words go out into the universe and knowing that some soul can feel a sense of relief or a glimmer of hope from my words keeps me writing and dreaming that I can add some kind of healing, comfort, and kindness to this crazy world. As my girl Meryl Streep said, “take your broken heart, make it into art”. Thats what I did - here I am years later, a sunflower blooming.
It's truly a dream come true, and the dream is just beginning. So many things to accomplish, but for now - I hold my book by my heart and I'm thankful that this dream came to light.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading supporting and sharing my words - my heart is full, I can't think you enough. Th
Send me a love letter if you have any questions! Purchase on Amazon, in stores soon!
Hello my sunflowers,
It's been a while since I have posted here, I have not forgotten you! Life has been beautiful and crazy busy. I have completed my yoga teacher training; I will be posting yoga sequences, yoga tips and things I love starting this week!
I have been writing and letting it collect. I write for the purpose of what it does for my soul. I do not write for clicks; I do not write for "likes." It's okay not to post every day we live in a generation of constant stimulation - just because I haven't posted a new piece - doesn't mean I'm gone. Doesn't mean I'm not a writer anymore. I write for my passion and to help others heal through, my experiences - sharing that with the world.
Thank you for always blooming with me and following me on my journey - I can not wait for you to read my book. Remember you can always send me a "love letter" if you have any questions or inquiries, I love hearing from you. The book takes time, editing, delays, designs - this process is a lot of work and I'm so blessed to be able to do it. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to share my words.
My book will be coming this spring! The cover is complete, we are working on final edits and illustrations - and I can't wait to debut the cover to you. It's so special to me! I will be updating the book page on my website; you will be able to buy my book from here, as well on Amazon and other book stores.
I'm so excited for the blooming spring weather, the beautiful flowers, and warm sunshine. I can't wait to share with you my hearts journey. I'm excited to lay in a sunflower field with my book in my head - I will most likely cry from happiness. :)
Sending lots of sunflowers your way,
One Month Till The New Year.Read More
Angels watching over.Read More
“If you commit yourself to the art of poetry, you commit yourself to the task of learning how to see, using words as elements of sight and their sounds as prisms. " Archibald MacLeish, Academy of American Poets Chancellor (1946–1949)
Hello, my sunnies!
I have been very occupied with so much going on I have received my first proof of my book! So I have been editing and editing, and I rewrote the ending to one of my most personal pieces.
This is one of my favorite quotes, it's what I have been leading with for my book - I hope these words aren't just read but can be heard. Writing is something that I have felt like was a calling. To be able to take a quick break from editing to write this little blog is surreal. Even if nobody reads my book, I'm so proud of that fact that its getting published and to me thats a dream come true in itself.
I was getting a lot of email with the same question: How Do I Write?
Writing for me is personal. It is what I love. I just followed my passion as corny as that sounds, I write everyday. But I don’t write to make sure I have a article that I have to post. I think the mistake some people put a pressure on themselves that they have to write to post everyday, to get those likes, —
We compare “likes” to good writing, so we freak out when we see nobody noticed it. I feel you, I get it.
I’m not a writer who cranks out articles every hour on the hour — I can do it, I have done it for work, but thats not my style for my self writing.
I personally love to let it collect, until I’m ready to share those pieces.
When writing becomes something that is unenjoyable/frustrating to you, take a step back, walk away for a little.
I have so many pieces that I will start and visit them in a day or a week or a year — sometimes the best thing to do is give yourself a break.
My poetry professor told me to never throw away anything I wrote, that one day I will stumble upon it or I will be ready to finish that piece I was once stuck on/exhausted of writing — and he was right (it’s the piece that is ending my book, it was written over two years edited from 7 pages to 4 back to 8)
When you least expect it your body will have a desire to sit and type or pick up the pen. As weird as it sounds, I really listen to my body and mind it lets me know when I need to write.
I have so many notes, and journal entries of all of my day to day observances and I grow upon that.
Have a clear vision of what your writing, and why you are writing. I just want to write words that heal, help, and inspire people — I write because I was born to do it, I write because its a part of me.
So my advice to people is
Just write, stop worrying on the ‘proper” way to write, the rules, my rule is I don’t have any — just go write.
Lots of sunnies your way,
"When you live your life with an appreciation of coincidences and their meanings, you connect with the underlying field of infinite possibilities."
~ Deepak Chopra
We get upset about closed doors, expectations that didn't translate into reality, but there is a purpose for the path you go on. The relationship that didn't work out means someone better is coming, when the job didn't happen, something else is out there for you.
When I received the first proof of my book today it made me overwhelmed. My heart was beaming. The happiness I felt for this present moment right here, right now. It made me really understand that all the rejection, sorrow, disappointment, heartache that has happened has led me to where I need to be.
There are infinite possibilities when we appreciate the doors that have been slammed in our face, of course, take the time to get out the sadness (we are only human) But I like to allow a 24 hour deep thinking day where I can reassure and calm the heart.
Wake up and start fresh.
Everything is easier said than done, I recognize this, but once you believe that the sun is meant to shine on you and not burn you, you will see things in a whole new perspective.
Life is an adventure, we get so wrapped up in what people perceive us as - do what it is that fills your soul with moon beams.
All the answers you need are already within you.
"Serve, Love, Give, Purify, Meditate, Realise. Be good, do good, be kind, be compassionate."
~ Sri Swami Sivananda
Hello, my Sunnies🌻
Sharing my favorite quote of the day and my poem of thoughts below. I heard someone say that love is not always necessary - and it had me thinking...
Is Love Necessary?
Love in any form is valid,
who would deny love?
if its a get home safe text,
or being wrapped in the arms of your partner,
if it's you spilling your soul on the floor to convey your emotions,
or if it's picking up a bouquet of sunflowers because you know they had a bad day,
the smallest of acts are a way to show someone you care.
love is not always romantic.
given in any form is beautiful, is needed.
To say that some love given isn’t what people want isn’t what they need,
that the love you supply is a “nice gesture” but isn’t going to help someone is like saying that you only choose to be kind to certain people -
you only choose to smile at those who smile first,
that you only choose to give your hand to lift someone just so you can lift yourself up as well,
what a sad way to look at love, at life.
love given is never wasted
no matter what: heartbreak, falling outs, the ones who judge without knowing you..
maybe it's foolish for me to give my love so freely,
but I rather touch souls with my giving, my dorkiness, with my kindness, my love..
the world always needs more love,
there is always a place for it to fit,
I guess the worst thing they could say about me is ,
she loves big.